LGBT Affirmative Services
How can counseling/therapy help LGBT people and their families?  It is important to recognize that
because of our society's attitudes about sexual orientation, many gay, lesbian, bisexual,  transgendered, or questioning
people face conflicts and hassles, stigmatization, violence and discrimination on a daily basis.  These things are factors
that contribute to depression, anxiety, and the development of mental health disorders.   And many LGBT people, and their
friends and families, seek the help of mental health professionals to better deal with problems associated with this
intolerance.  Support groups and counseling can also help gay people and their family members alleviate feelings of
isolation, anger, sadness, and poor self-esteem.  Group therapy can help families better understand their loved ones'
coming out process and work to resolve conflicts associated with coming out.
(Resource by PFLAG - Washington DC)  

Being LGBT is not a mental or physical disorder.  And being gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered, or
questioning your sexual orientation or gender identity, does not mean you need counseling or therapy.  Nevertheless, given
the hostility and oppression that gay people often encounter, and the homophobia that is present in our society, it should
come as no surprise that gay people and their families may seek counseling to overcome depression or mental distress.
(Resource by PFLAG - Washington DC)
All rights reserved - New Dimensions © 2008
Brian Oltman, Psychotherapist
MA, M. Div., LMFT #41932

2231 Camino del Rio S. Suite #308 - 92108
Mailing Address: 1286 University Avenue #568 - 92103
San Diego, CA
I Can Help You:
  • Gain a better understanding of yourself
  • Explore personal goals and values
  • Develop skills for improving your relationships
  • Find resolution to the issues or concerns troubling you
  • Find new ways to cope with stress and anxiety
  • Manage anger, depression, and other emotional pressures
  • Improve communications skills - learn how to listen to others, and have
    others listen to you
  • Break unhealthy patterns and develop new ones
  • Discover new ways to solve problems
  • Improve your self-esteem and self-confidence
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+ Discovery + Purpose + Acceptance + Insight + Awareness + Solutions + Focus + Growth +
New Hope, New Insight, New Understanding - A New Dimension!

PFLAG San Diego/Carlsbad started on December 12, 1982 with 35 people in attendance. Lillian Rubin was elected chapter coordinator. Lillian and Hy
Rubin were extremely supportive and interested in promoting human rights, particularly in improving the atmosphere in schools by better education about

PFLAG continues the progress made over the 20 years of its existence in San Diego. The Past Presidents and Board members have been hardworking and
conscientious. They have created and fostered an organization that is well respected in the community.

"We at PFLAG truly have "an Agenda," says 1999/2000/2001 president Dolores Lesnick, "and we're actively implementing it. It's an agenda to SUPPORT,
EDUCATE and ADVOCATE - which is our mission statement. We Support parents, family and friends of glbt and the glbt individuals themselves who come to
our organization. We do this on a one-to-one basis in person and by phone and in our support groups". Join Us !

Words of Wisdom: "Having a gay child pits the instinct of parental love against entrenched social norms. To resolve the conflict, family members need to
find answers to questions about human values and the meaning of personal integrity. At PFLAG, we undertake the search with a community of fellow seekers
motivated by the same pressing concerns. It's a process with wonderful rewards, not the least of which is an expanding appreciation of the riches of human
diversity." -- Bishop Melvin Wheatley

"Coming Out" can be one of the most important and difficult experiences for a LGBT individual.  Thoughtful consideration of one's own level of self-
acceptance and inner strength, adequate preparation, attention to timing and awareness of expectations, and one's own personal support system are all
factors to be considered in the "Coming Out." process.   Research on the issue of internalized shame reveals that those who come out mindfully to family,
friends, and significant others tend to experience greater levels of mental health and self-esteem.  When one remains in the closet indefinitely, the soul
suffers.  People who remain closeted are essentially telling themselves that they are not acceptable to themselves and others.  The "Coming Out" process
is something that should then be handled with care and intention, so that the individual might grow in awareness and understanding.

Grief & Loss Counseling for LGBT
Losing someone you care about or love is one of the worst things that can happen.  Yet, it’s something that you’re almost certain to experience at some
point in your life. When someone you love dies, you’ll respond to your loss in your own way. There is no particular right way or wrong way to grieve, but there
are ways to make your recovery from grief more complete.

Weddings & Commitment Ceremonies - Other Services
As an Ordained Minister, I perform weddings and commitment ceremonies.  I also conduct other religious ceremonies as well as funerals/memorial
services.  Specific fees for these services are based on type of service, time spent in preparation, counseling needed, etc.  Fees are set on a case by case
basis.  Contact me with any questions you may have about these services.

I provide LGBT-affirmative counseling and consulting services.   LGBT individuals, couples and families are no different than others when
it comes to human needs, except for the fact that they are often experience discrimination, external and internal homophobia.  My sensitive approach to
counseling affirms each person's humanity and self worth, encouraging growth and self acceptance.

Some of the areas specifically affecting LGBT individuals may include:
  • depression, anxiety; loneliness, anger
  • drinking or drugging too much
  • people in need of support to maintain their sobriety
  • men who have difficulty in forming or sustaining intimate relationships
  • lesbian, male or heterosexual couples who are going through a difficult period
  • people living with HIV/AIDS, or other chronic illnesses
  • people whose partners have HIV/AIDS, or other chronic illnesses
  • grief/loss related to the death of a partner

If you find yourself struggling with your sexual orientation, relationship issues, in need of couples counseling, or if you
are depressed, anxious, lacking self confidence, contact me today to make your first step on the journey to a new life!
Brian K. Oltman
Counseling Services