Please feel free to contact me with questions you may
have about the counseling services I provide by using the
confidential form below.  If you are requesting an
appointment, please include the day and time it is best to
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Relationship Problems
People come in all shapes and sizes and so do relationships. Conflicts can occur between
spouses, coworkers, siblings, friends, families, neighbors, grandparents, bosses, and many
others. It is often difficult to tell whether the particular conflicts in your life are "normal" or if you
have "relationship problems". The best way to determine this is if you have:
  • Constant or frequent conflict with others
  • Long periods of non-communication with important people in your life due to conflicts
  • Difficulty resolving conflicts with others
  • Chronic or frequent feelings of anger or resentment towards others
  • Chronic feelings of loneliness or rejection from others
  • The perception that you are regularly criticized, demeaned, or dismissed by others

It is very difficult to get along with others consistently. Some disagreements are normal.  People
tend to believe they're supposed to have the problems they're having, that their problems are
"normal". Because of this belief, many people think that an actual relationship problem exists
only when there are severe or chronic arguments, or significant isolation. That's one reason why
many people stay in abusive or loveless marriages.

Sometimes people believe that outside or external factors are to blame for the problems they
have. What they fail to see is that the common denominator in all of their conflicts is themselves,
and they usually fail to recognize how their reactions contribute to, or even create the problem.
Often, we tend to be remarkably unaware of our own feelings and how those feelings get
communicated to others. We often believe we are communicating one thing, while in the eyes of
others we're communicating something very different.  

If you recognize any of these factors to be true in your relationships, it is time to make some
changes.  Contact me today to set up your appointment!
Brian Oltman, Psychotherapist
MA, M. Div., LMFT #41932

2231 Camino del Rio S. Suite #308 - 92108
Mailing Address: 1286 University Avenue #568 - 92103
San Diego, CA
Contact Me:
New Hope, New Insight, New Understanding - A New Dimension!
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Brian K. Oltman
Counseling Services